Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Forty-eight



“I can’t believe I’m actually doing this,” I grumble.

Dane just beams back at me, ear-to-ear, snow-white rows of perfection. “Are you sure you don’t want me to knot it for you, Master?”

I give him my best don’t-even-fucking-think-about-it glare, which doesn’t faze him in the least. “Thanks, Dane. I got it.”

I take a deep breath and fold the scarf lengthwise, then again. Glowering at Dane one last time, I draw the blue silk to my eyes, run my fingers along the fabric until the very ends are in each hand, then form a sturdy square knot at the back of my head. As I’m getting used to the odd sensation—one I haven’t experienced in many, many moons—Dane’s whispered voice tickles my ear.

“Master, may I say you look extremely hot like that?”

I’m rolling my eyes to beat the band, but nobody knows but me. “Get the book and turn off the lights, Dane.”

“Yes, Master,” he answers, peppering in as much bumping and sliding and completely unnecessary bodily contact as he can while carrying out my command. It’s impossible to be strict with him from behind the blindfold, and Dane seems to be taking full advantage of the situation.

“How do you want me, Master?” he asks.

Attempting to maintain some semblance of authority, I lift my arm. “Here, tuck yourself into my side.”

Dane wriggles in against my chest and spends a few minutes stretching out, twisting, and rolling around until he finds a comfortable position.

Chuckling at all the commotion, I ask, “Everything okay down there?”

“Yes, I’m ready. Are you?”

Am I? Good question. “Fix the covers, please.”

Dane smoothes the blankets over our joined bodies. “You’re not going to fall asleep, are you, Master?”

“I don’t know, Dane. Are you going to bore me to death?”

“I seriously doubt it.”

I know I’m smiling at him, and I’m pretty sure I hear him smiling right back. My right hand finds its way to Dane’s hair, thankfully without poking him in the eye. “I’m ready now.”

Dane opens the book. I hear him flipping through pages before he starts reading.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking at last night’s pictures. Have you seen tonight’s already?”

“No.”

“Well, this first one is a picture of Huck and Tom walking through the woods, and it says, ‘They tiptoed along.’ I’ll tell you the rest as we come to them in the story.”

It doesn’t escape my notice that he’s a hell of a lot more considerate than I was about it.

“Chapter two. We went tiptoeing along a path . . .”

Immediately, Dane modulates his voice to match that of the young adventurer narrating the story. I feel my smile stretching even wider, and it’s likely to stay that way the entire time he reads.

“. . . We scrouched down and laid still.  Miss Watson's big nigger, named Jim, was setting in the kitchen door; we could see him pretty clear, because there was a light behind him.  He got up and stretched his neck out about a minute, listening.  Then he says: ‘Who dah?’”

I chuckle at the lower register Dane has chosen for the older man.

“What? You don’t like my Jim voice?”

“I love your Jim voice. Go on.”

I get so distracted by his intonation, I lose my concentration for a minute but zone back in when I hear: “There was a place on my ankle that got to itching, but I dasn't scratch it; and then my ear begun to itch; and next my back, right between my shoulders.  Seemed like I'd die if I couldn't scratch.  Well, I've noticed that thing plenty times since.  If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy—if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.”

“That’s fun in bondage, eh, Dane?”

“Huh!” he chuffs. “Okay, there’s a picture of Jim, and he is a giant dude.”

Giving Dane’s ear a little tweak, I say, “Describe it, please.”

“He’s wearing tattered pants practically up to his nipples with a strap fastened over one shoulder, a long-sleeved peasant shirt and big straw hat, and he’s carrying a heavy bucket. The caption just says ‘Jim.’ I should mention he doesn’t look too happy.”

“Okay, go on.”

As Dane continues, I sink deep into the world of Huck and Tom and their band of robbers. Dane is a warm, vibrating presence along the length of my body, animated by each character who takes a turn speaking, his voice full of the puffery of young boys and the pearls of wisdom deeply embedded in the narration.

“’I clumb up the shed and crept into my window just before day was breaking. My new clothes was all greased up and clayey, and I was dog-tired.’ And here at the end, there’s a picture of Huck creeping back into his window, and let me tell you, he looks like he’s been up to no good.”

“Ha-ha, takes one to know one, Dane.”

The book closes with a soft swish of air, and I feel the tilt of Dane’s head as he looks up at me. “Now, what makes you say that, Master?”

Enough with the blindfold! I need to see the twinkle in those eyes. The knot doesn’t loosen as fast as I’d like, and I end up yanking the thing off. First thing I see is my beautiful boy smiling up at me, and I realize that’s pretty much all I need.

“Lemme see that picture of Huck.”

Dane opens to the bookmarked page and holds up the picture right next to his own mischievous grin. “Yep,” I say, “that’s pretty much what I thought.”

“Now, now, Master,” Dane insists, “I would never have hung Jim’s hat from the tree branch while he was sleeping!”

Snapping off the light, I scoot down the headboard and align myself with Dane. “What kind of a boy were you, growing up?”

“Not the kind to sneak out of my room!” he answers with a laugh.

Actually, I’m not surprised at all by that.

“Mom and Pop had their hands full with my older sister, so I took it easy on ‘em and behaved myself.”

“Where’s your family now?”

“My sister attempted a couple different colleges, but apparently, studying doesn’t float her boat. She went out to L.A.—followed some guy who told her she had potential and dumped her after a week. She was waiting tables, last I heard, waiting to meet Mr. I-Won’t-Ever-Have-To-Work-Again.”

Ah, the disdain for freeloading rears its ugly origins.

“And your folks?”

“They’re doing okay, live out in Plattsburgh, where I grew up. Mom’s in the English Department at SUNY, and Pop coordinates the school groups for the Battle of Plattsburgh Museum; he’s kind of an incurable history buff.”

“War of 1812?”

“Yep,” Dane answers with a proud grin.

I realize as he’s telling me about his folks that I wasn’t expecting him to be on such good terms with them. “Do you see them very often?”

“Nah.” Dane’s whole expression changes. What is that, guilt? “My sister calls me when she’s low on cash or had a bad fight with our parents. Other than that, we don’t have much to say to each other. My folks, I just . . .” Dane shakes his head. “It’s easier if we just lead our own lives.”

My fingers are moving through his hair without direction from my brain. “Easier for whom?”

“Them. Me. I don’t know, all of us, I guess. My last—Wayne—said he didn’t want me ‘running home to Mommy every time something was going on between us.’ Said he was mother, father, God, and my priest all rolled into one. He started demanding that I put them on speaker when I was allowed the privilege of calling at all, and I think my folks caught on that they were making things harder for me. We got out of the habit of talking. It’s not that things are bad, just . . . we’re not really in each other’s lives like we used to be.”

With the lights off, I can’t read Dane’s expression well enough to be sure, but he seems to have accepted this new reality so thoroughly, he no longer questions it. Or maybe that’s just a defense mechanism so he doesn’t have to deal with the loss.

“That’s a shame, Dane.”

He nestles closer to me, resting his cheek on my chest. “In a way, it’s merciful. I wouldn’t have wanted them to see me after Wayne kicked me out.”

“Don’t you think they would’ve wanted to have been there for you?”

“I think my mom would’ve been broken in two. This was easier for everyone.”

“Easier isn’t always better.”The words are just as much for me as they are for Dane. “For the record, I would wholly support you speaking with your parents frequently, your sister, too, as long as she’s not a drain on you. Maybe that’s something you can talk about with the doctor. Have you set up your appointment yet, by the way?”

Silence.

“Dane?”

“I’ll call tomorrow.”

“Good.”

“Master, a question, please?”

“Of course.”

“How did you enjoy the blindfold experience?”

“To be honest, Dane, not a whole helluva lot.”

He bursts out laughing, tickling the hairs on my chest with his warm breath.

“I don’t like to deprive myself of the pleasure of watching you in action.”

Dane tips his head up, nuzzles his nose along my neck, and sighs. “Does that mean the Great Blindfold Experiment is over?”

“Do you think you’d be inhibited in any way if I watched you read?”

“No, Master. I love you watching me.”

“Then, yes, I think it’s fair to say I won’t be wearing that again.”

His hand comes up and cups my cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of my smile. “Thank you very much for giving it a try for me.”

I kiss his thumb. “You’re welcome, sweet boy. Let’s get some sleep now.”

“G’night, Master.”

“Good night, Dane.”


If you're interested in seeing the version of Huckleberry Finn the boys are reading, you can find it at The Project Gutenberg EBook of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Complete by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)

Were you surprised Marcus didn't love the blindfold? How about Dane's parents? Boy, these two had a long day and night. I think some sleep is in order! XX

27 comments:

  1. ummm a waffle slathered in Nutella and Marcus blindfolded. Could my morning get any better? The family connection surprised me, I hope that Dane can let that go too. Wayne the weenie really is on my list now. What a horrible abuser he is. Hope our giggling Aro finds him soon. Danes development would vastly improve if he could see that man being punished for his crime. He really should be charged with abuse, because what he did is classic abuser moves...not wonderful, sensual Master/sub moves. xoxo

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    1. I could not agree more with every point you make. Just want to make sure Dane is safe in every way.
      xx

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  2. ugh with the classic abuser move- separating the abused from family, friends, support, etc. Not only was he a crappy Dom, he's an awful person. :(

    cuddling and blindfolded Masters being read to in bed?? just lovely. It didn't feel like a focal point in the chapter, but I think Dane knows how big of a deal it was. Not that Marcus was scared or anything, but he was uncomfortable not being able to see his "sweet boy." Sidenote: marcus thought it had been many moons since his last blindfolded experience, wonder what the story is there! lol

    Was nice to hear about Dane's family. Hopefully he will get back in the habit of talking to his parents, at least every once in a while.

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    1. Yes, would you expect any less from the evil slimeball?

      No freakouts for blindfolded Marcus, just as you described it- discomfort. Maybe under different circumstances it could be a turn on for him, or maybe he really can't give up his vision and enjoy himself. My guess on the many moons is that he probably tried it for someone else he cared about once upon a time, or perhaps he was included in a scene as more of a sub role in his early days...and it wasn't something that stuck with him in a good way.

      I didn't want Dane to have what I seem to read a lot about in classic BDSM stories- broken home, terrible childhood, lousy parents. Happy kids can grow up to be big kinksters! (autobiographical note there)

      Thanks, Digi!
      xx

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  3. awwww....another first for Marcus? he's just being remastered all over the place, isn't he? I do love how dane spoke about his family. maybe speaking with his family again will be good for him? love the voice inflections he put on while reading huck finn to Marcus! another fine chapter. thanks!

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    1. Thank you, Judy. Yes, I think there's plenty of room for Marcus to move. Let's see what a good time we can have with him! Gigi mentioned plush doll Dane, but perhaps it's Marcus we're manipulating even more! *wink*
      xxx

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  4. A little more Huck, and with cuddles. It brings me back to being in College, it was such a breath of fresh air to crack it open at the time, since I was knee deep into Chomsky, Bloomfield, Piaget, Lakoff, Langacker, Kedroff, and the like. I think I told you before, that most of my classmates expressed distaste for the book, thinking it was beneath them. I found that to be sad and ridiculous, the book is a classic and captivating story, a wealth of riches for a Linguist with its rich Language full of regionalisms. I still have that copy and a couple more newer ones in our library.
    I'm not surprised that he didn't like the blindfold, but I loved the reason for not liking it. As a Dom the obvious answer would have been a control issue, but it's very telling of how the relationship has evolved that his main reason had a lot more to do with Dane and his inability to feast his eyes on his yummy subbie. Plus being deprived of his sight allowed his to hone in Dane's voice and his cute tones and inflections.
    Dane as usual was a delight cuddly, playful, and sweet, so relax in the moment that he opened up about his family. It made me sad that Wayne also managed to damage this aspect of his life, but I'm hopeful Marcus will encourage him to reach out to his family. I can only try to imagine what "meet the parents" would be like with Marcus. Also great that he reminded Dane to seek help, since there are a lot of issues that need to be addressed by a third impartial party.
    As always thank you so much for sharing your writing and replying to all reviews.
    Blessings
    Gigi

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    1. YES! While he didn't love the experience for reasons he probably hadn't anticipated, it did give him a chance to appreciate Dane on a new level. I think it's a wonderful imagining to picture Marcus meeting Dane's parents and having that go well. How healing that would be for Dane! Yeah I think we'll all feel better if a professional gets involved! ;)
      xxx

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  5. SO MUCH MOOSH I THINK I MIGHT NOT RECOVER!!!!!!!!!! *flops on couch and puts arm over eyes* That was deliciously sweet and perfectly cozy. I loved every flipping word. From the standpoint of watching the two men become closer this has to be at the top of my list. I realize all the work they do in scenes has brought Dane so much closer to being happy in a way he never was with Wayne the Wiener and it's brought Master and sub closer but this chapter seems to be more about Marcus and Dane. Spectacular.

    Favorite line... His hand comes up and cups my cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of my smile. “Thank you very much for giving it a try for me.” ...Just as Dane needs the reassurances, I think this goes so far in giving Marcus the same. The tenderness of the moment caught me and held on. *still smiling*

    xoxo
    V

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    1. ...as your enthusiasm for the chapter and your beautiful review is now holding me. Thank you, sweet V. I love that you saw this as the two relating as men outside of that M/s relationship. Dane doesn't have to give away bits of himself, but he does so eagerly and Marcus laps them up. Marcus knows a true gift when he receives it. And so do I.
      xo

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  6. Huck Finn, thanks Born that was great and the illustrations were new to me as I don't have any in my book.

    Well done to Marcus for trying the blindfold, but for someone so observant who studies Dane constantly that was always going to be hard. It seems Dane took pleasure in the illustrations so maybe Marcus could describe them or leave the blindfold off next time.

    Poor Dane, another bad mark against Wayne and hopefully when Dane is seeing someone professionally he can improve his relationship with his parents. Is he a little reticent about making his appointment, M may need to watch that as I think he agreed with his Master that he would.

    I think they should scrap the trial period now ;) and just move in together, how on earth are they going to go back to living separately after this?

    Thank you for writing

    Jarvis
    xx

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    1. I was happy to find this cool version online and free of any copyright issues- not sure how or why but cool for me!
      I agree with you. Dane already promised to go see his doc. This backslide is no bueno!
      LOL on your recommendation at the end. Yeah, that's gonna be a real bitch!
      xxx

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  7. Awww! I love that Marcus did the blindfold for story time! :D And that they were both honest about the "not gonna do it again, I like watching you too much".
    The fact that Dane opened up about his parents and sister is Huuuge, in my opinion. I again say it the trust, honesty, and care he feels with Marcus. The comfort that Marcus gives him.
    But, I do want to choke "the bastard who will no longer be named" out! What a freaking JERK! That breaks my heart that he could no longer talk to them and when he was "privileged" to call he couldn't do it in private. My heart, B! My heart.
    I hope Marcus gets him to talk to them more. I get why he didn't want them to see him hurt like he was after "the bastard". But, still it's his family.
    *sighs* I just want to hold him. I'm soo glad Marcus is doing just that.
    xoxo
    <3

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    1. I agree. Dane didn't have to share anything that personal with Marcus. Every morsel he shares is a piece of himself he gives freely out of affection and trust.
      Sorry that Wayne was such a jerk. Let's see if we can't right all the wrongs, shall we?

      I'll get you one of the plush toy Danes once we start manufacturing!
      xxx

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  8. ugh - wayne was an abuser through and through isolating dane from his loved ones like that. It's good that Dane feels comfortable to reveal things to Marcus as they crop up though - he trusts his Master implicitly. Let's hope bridges with his family can be mended. Loved the blindfolded reading - Marcus sure is a Dom through and through wanting to be the one in control but it's wonderful he was willing to experience it for Dane. With each conversation they fall deeper. Loved it as always.

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  9. Got to give to Marcus that he tried the blindfold.

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  10. So we learn more about Dane's family. I expected some abuse or at least they had a problem with his sexual orientation. Another sibling bleeding mom and dad emotionally dry works too. I'd like to think his mom is stronger than he gives her credit. Gives me more assurance of Dane's long term healing.

    Sounds like the monster was very good a peeling away Dane's support system, such as it was.

    Marcus and the blindfold. I was pretty sure if he tried it, he would be the one to put it on. I'm not surprised that he didn't take to it. It's just not him. At this stage with Dane, it is probably more important that he be reading all of Dane's reactions anyway.

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    1. I think the expectation is always that the submissive is abused or disowned. I don't find stereotypes useful. Poor Dane is a good guy from a good family. He just met the wrong damn dom. I agree with you- that all bodes well for his long term emotional health.

      YES, monster peeled away everything from Dane so he was his whole world, then discarded him. O.o

      :) I didn't know how the blindfold would go until I wrote it. Probably rewrote it a few times too until I heard Marcus right. But glad this felt in character to you.
      xx

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  11. Nice to see some delving into Dane's past. Sad to hear that he's lost touch with his parents because of Wayne. Comforting to know that it is only the hurdles of time and she that must be cleared for reconciliation. (Not that those obstacles ate easy, but there could have been other insurmountable options).

    Mar us trying the blindfold is HUGE! I mean of course he didn't like it! But the fact that he was willing to try for Dane <3

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    1. I agree on the parental hurdles. Maybe we can jump a couple of those?
      Yeah, Marcus pretty much hated the blindfold experience, but whatta guy!
      xx

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  12. Cute chapter. Loved that Marcus tried stepping out of his own comfort zone to appease Dane for a while. I'm sure Dane more than appreciated the sacrifice on his Master's behalf. Its not always easy for a Dom to relinquish control to sub like that. Which proves even more how much he's a goner for his sweet boy. That Dane got Marcus all tangled up. Love it!

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    1. I took a little heat for switching the tables but I do feel that the rules are theirs to invent as they go, and this felt right. Glad you enjoyed it!

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