Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Twenty-six


I opt for the soba noodles, not just because they are already cooked and I am impatient to get Dane into my dungeon, but also because it allows me to feed him with chopsticks while he waits for each bite on his knees, dressed only in those delicious bikini briefs—this time in bright red. How many different colors will I be treated to before his wardrobe is exhausted?

By the time he’s put away all the food, I am aching to have Dane at my mercy, especially since I’ve been feeling quite at his for most of this evening. Mercy, what a poignant choice for a safe word. The essential counterbalance to absolute control—the tender swipe of a tongue around the harsh metal clamp—and the ultimate cry for compassion.

Still wary of Dane’s emotional state, despite the fact that he seems overeager if anything, I initiate the scene as planned, vowing to keep an extra-vigilant eye on him. I summon Dane to the edge of the carpeted living room, where he instantly sinks to his knees, clasping his hands behind his back. I can hardly keep my hands off his perfect skin, the tight peaks of his nipples, and that tantalizing bulge below, but neither of us is in the proper state for me to start feeling him up right here. Instead, I step in close and pull his head to my thigh, allowing both of us the comfort of running my fingers through his silky hair.

Dane responds eloquently with a deep sigh and a rash of goose bumps. Onward.

“I like having you right next to me, Dane. I love to feel your soft hair between my fingers. I love knowing your body is so close, I can just reach out and touch you anywhere I want.”

He lets out a soft moan that goes straight to my dick. My hands have gone no lower than his neck, but I might as well be palming him right now.

“You like being close to me too, don’t you, Dane?” Slide, pull, caress.

“Mmm, yes, Master.”

“You know, we masters have lots of different tricks for keeping our submissives close. For a boy as good and obedient as you, I don’t need to do any more than give the command to stay, do I, Dane?”

He sinks a little deeper into the head space he needs. His eyelids grow heavier; the tip of his erection threatens the elastic waistband; his tone is increasingly serious. “No, Master.”

“The thing is, Dane, I need more than that tonight. I need us both to know that you’re not going anywhere until I release you.”

Because we both know you walked away from me, and I couldn't bear that again.

Awareness seeps in, and I read anxiety as Dane lifts his eyes to mine. My words challenge him while my fingers continue their soothing rhythm. I’m Bad Cop and Good Cop rolled into one.

“Tell me your safe word, Dane.”

“Mercy.”

“Good. I want you to talk to me if you feel uncomfortable. The safe word is a last resort. Are we clear on that?”

“Yes, Master.”

I reach into the pocket of my dark trousers and hold up a black leather wrist cuff attached to a twelve-inch chain-link lead with a nylon loop handle. “I need your left hand.”

There’s a definite pause before he complies, and I fight my doubt for asking this of him. Thankfully, he offers up his hand though it’s wadded into a tight fist. Those eyes say it all: this is hard for me.

“Thank you, Dane.” You made the right move in trusting me. The cuff closes with a simple buckle. There are no padlocks, no keyholes, just an easy-release button. I can have him out in seconds.

“My cuff looks good on you, boy. How does it feel?”

Dane doesn’t answer. “Dane?”

He lifts his gaze from his wrist to look me in the eye, and my heart lurches at his conflicted expression. I crouch down in front of him and stroke his hand. “Dane, I’m right here with you. Remember, I cuffed you so I can keep you close to me.” I lift the handle and hold it against my chest. “The only thing you’re bound to is me. Can you tolerate the cuff?”

He answers me instantly, “Yes, Master.”

Though I admire and respect the confident stage performer, the vulnerable Dane allowing me to take him down this dark, snarly path earns my deepest reverence. “I’m very proud of you, Dane. This is a huge step.”

Drawing a shaky breath, Dane releases his tight fist.

“That’s it, my boy.” I take his hand in mine and pull us both to our feet. My elation threatens to break free, but I restrict myself to a slow, steady pace as I walk us to the dungeon. I command Dane to hold onto the handrail after a nauseating premonition of him tumbling down the stairs disturbs my thoughts.

We reach the rug in the center of the dungeon, and I turn to face him, still grasping the end of the chain in my hand. “Dane, can you tell me how you’re feeling right now?”

Without a word, he sinks to his knees, grasps me behind my calves, bends forward, and places his lips on my boot. He lifts slightly, just enough to shift to the opposite side and repeat the motion. Tipping his face up to mine, he seems to speak from another dimension, “Please use my body to satisfy your needs, Master.”

I’ve seen this before, the intense crashing through barriers that can be achieved by one seemingly minute breakthrough. Dane’s progress is nothing short of miraculous, so much more than I’d imagined we’d achieve tonight, yet his demeanor gives me pause. This is not the playful submissive who offered my cock a “soft landing place” after his massage.

I need to be sure I’m not just hearing what I want to hear, but understanding the true intent behind his words. I crouch again, leveling my height to his plane. Cupping his chin, I ask, “Dane, are you asking me to fuck you?”

Tears well in the boy’s eyes, and he answers without hesitation. “Yes, Master. Please.”

It’s the rare submissive I’d allow this much control. Coming from a place of great mistrust and abuse, Dane automatically requires more latitude. I chalk up the remainder of my permissiveness to Dane himself, a man to be taken at his word, a man who rarely asks for anything, a man who touches me deeply on every level. I’ve repeatedly encouraged his input, and I won’t deny this monumental request.

He vibrates with tension and need, which intensifies when I nod and shift into command mode. “Take off your underwear.”

Before “Yes, Master” is off his lips, Dane’s briefs are down his thighs and under his knees. My hand moves with his, a passive accomplice in the unveiling of his thick need, the soft clink of the chains reminding both of us we’re tethered for as long as I choose or until he asks to be released.

Though I’d love nothing more than to take that beautiful shaft down my throat, Dane needs to stay in his submissive head space, and it’s my job to keep him there. I loop the end of the leash around my wrist, watching Dane’s hand shadow mine as I swiftly rid myself of belt and pants. There’s no cheeky grin from him when I reveal my erection, and I won’t dishonor this intense moment by making light of it in any way.

Grateful for the lube and condom I keep stashed in my pants pocket, I grab both while ordering Dane onto his back. He registers surprise but scurries into position, opening his legs so I can knee-walk between them. His left hand becomes a dead weight in the air between us as I tear open the condom wrapper. Rather than have him continue to flop around aimlessly, I place his palm on my thigh, where his warm touch is most welcome. There’s enough slack in the chain that he doesn't hinder the motion of my hand, and I’m wrapped and ready in a flash. Now, to ready my beautiful bottom—and his beautiful bottom.

I squeeze out a few drops of lube while he blinks up at me. “Here we go, Dane.” My fingertips touch his perineum and his entire body tenses. The hand on my thigh clamps around me while its partner, lying on the brown shag rug, pulls into a tight fist.

“Easy, boy. Spread your legs for me and breathe.” Dane complies, pulling in a choppy breath and letting it out the same way. His eyes pierce me with their heedful stare, demanding my utmost care. I lift his right ankle to my shoulder, running my left hand down his perfectly toned leg from ankle to thigh as I lean into his body. He barely registers the stretch, and now I’m wondering exactly how limber he is. A question for a painfully horny Master another day . . .

I glide my fingertips downward; Dane stiffens once more. Though he desires this on an intellectual level, his body repels my touch. His abdomen tightens with his next deep breath. A thumb rolled gently over his sac draws a flinch. What the hell?

When I give his cock an experimental stroke from tip to base, Dane whimpers and twists. I pull back the guilty hand, dismayed at his apparent allergy to my hands.

“Dane, what’s going on?”

“I’m sorry, Master. I’ll try harder.” He puffs up his cheeks and blows out three quick breaths like a woman in the throes of labor.

Jesus.

“No, Dane. That’s the problem. You’re trying too hard already.” I release his ankle from my shoulder and gently return it to the carpet. “It’s okay. We’ll try again another time.”

Dane’s upper body snaps up from the floor. “Master, please!” His eyes are wide with panic. “Don’t give up on me!”

In my haste to pull Dane into my arms, I drop the handle of the leash. Dane gasps with horror and eyes the loose chain hanging from his wrist.

“Mercy!” he cries, just a fraction of a second before my own safe word flies from my mouth.

Enough!”






Oh no! Double safe words! What a mess.

36 comments:

  1. Ohh, wow.

    Dane's overeager-ness and Marcus's super vigilance in keeping an eye on D kept me strung tighter than a piano wire. (those are tight, right?? lol)

    Gah, I loved this: “The thing is, Dane, I need more than that tonight. I need us both to know that you’re not going anywhere until I release you.”

    Because we both know you walked away from me, and I couldn't bear that again.

    I can't even put into words my feelings on those lines, they just clobbered me!

    I got goosebumps when D kissed Marcus's boots. I didn't fully understand what he was asking for until Marcus clarified, and it shocked me. M didn't seem TOO shocked by the intense barrier-crashing going on, but I was scared D was pushing himself too far. I have faith in Marcus's decision-making (and your writing), though. I wonder where Marcus would have taken the scene had Dane not issued his own request..

    Dane's panic and "Don't give up on me!" tore me to pieces. I teared up a little right there at the end. When they both safe-worded, I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Is it odd that I'm slightly encouraged?? I feel like they both needed something big and hard (thats what she said) to deal with together to get them back on track. They have a common hurdle that will force them to talk. I shall focus on M pulling D into his arms to comfort him as I wait for the next update.

    I'm gutted at Dane's panic, and that BOTH of them are off-kilter enough to use their safe-words, but I am ever hopeful.

    Thank you for another beautiful chapter, Mistress. May I have another?? ;)

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    1. OH, Digi, thank you! I just added that line with his inner thought ("Because we both know...") this morning when I posted. I heard it so clearly in my head but I wasn't sure it was clear to the reader without explicitly writing it.

      I like to believe Marcus would've figured it out before Dane got hurt. You ask a great (and fair) question- what WAS the scene Marcus had planned. I can't say, because I knew that Dane was going to direct this scene from the start. Clearly, Marcus would not have jumped quite as far as Dane demanded.

      I am ever grateful for your emotional, visceral response to the end of the chapter. I agree that something dramatic was needed between them. While Dane's descent would've likely occurred outside the dungeon, I believe it would have been more gradual and less obvious, but the bondage and the intensity of the scene drew it out of him much more efficiently- thankfully for all involved, and I include both myself and my readers in that!

      You may indeed have another...TOMORROW! TRUST.
      xo
      b

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  2. I'm attempting to just feel the chapter and not dissect it into critiquing it's parts. I feel Marcus' affection, dare I say love, for this beautiful damaged boy. I feel Dane's willingness to venture into acts he perceives will please Marcus despite his body's learned aversion to them. I feel the Master's ambivalence here between his nature and this unknown territory of who Dane is to him. Stunningly beautiful, almost poetic in nature, this chapter makes me long for the feelings that these 2 men share and are beginning to explore. Damn, woman, I love this story and how you write it....

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    1. What an incredibly beautiful review.
      Thank you so much, Judy.

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  3. Okay, this double safe wording might be a good thing. At least it will if Dane registered the fact that Master was less than a heartbeat behind him. God, I wish I had some of that piano wire that Digi is wound up tighter than to put around the twig and berries of the cretin that almost ruined our dear boy. and then I would tighten it, very slowly...

    (I don't think you can comment from a phone - mine kept locking up and deleting my text, so I had to switch to a real computer.)

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    1. OH MY GOODNESS, how very vivid! O.o

      Sorry about your troubles with the blog. :P and thank you for sharing your thoughts- your murderous thoughts!
      xo

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  4. It was coming (pardon the pun) after Dane walked out of the pizza place with all of his insecurities because of Marcus' job, Dane probably agonised over what he needed to do to be good enough for his Master, not realizing that he just needed to be.

    As difficult as it is I'm glad they both safe worded as now difficult conversations will hopefully be had, or at least be started.

    What to do about the sub whisperer though? If I were Dane I couldn't stand the thought of others with Marcus.

    Thank you Born, a really moving chapter.

    Jarvis

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    1. "Dane probably agonised over what he needed to do to be good enough for his Master, not realizing that he just needed to be."---Ah, beautifully put.

      Great questions and predictions. And thank you for your sweet note.
      x

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  5. A double safe word. Yep. See, Dane WAS trying to buy devotion and loyalty with his food 'offerings'. And Marcus, who has his own reasons for not noticing, failed Dane again.

    Honestly, (and I'm playing the blame game here) Marcus needs to step up and realize he has NEVER dealt with a submissive who, 1) has so many hard limits, and 2) wants to have 'more' with. He loses his objectivity where his boy is concerned.

    Perhaps student can turn instructor and we get to see the return of Master Edward.

    Until then...MERCY and ENOUGH will be screamed often, I suspect.

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    1. And Marcus, who has his own reasons for not noticing, failed Dane again. ---fair enough. He did admit to Edward that he could not be objective where Dane is concerned and also expressed at that time his fear that he might not be the right one to heal him. I guess the question is, Will Marcus see it? Will he be man/dom enough to do what's best for Dane? Will he be able to live with the results? Oops, that's three questions!

      OH INTERESTING solution you pose there. Have EDWARD come in and unfuck Marcus? That offers some very interesting possibilities indeed! xoxo

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    2. I think Edward, the Master, and Edward, the husband, can offer guidance through Marcus & Dane's learning process to make their needs and desires merge together. Though Dane offers difficulties that Bella didn't, the foundation is the same.

      I have faith that Marcus will recognize his own shortcomings and seek help; for his desire to fill Dane's every need will be his catalyst. His instincts will prevail.

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  6. Digi, where is the dotted line where I can sign? You said it all.
    But Judith and Jarvis' words also touched my heart ...
    My heart clenched at Dane's panic - what in gawd's name has that s.o.b done to him? Ohhhh I wish somewhere along the line Marcus find this lowlife! Ugh ... gumibear26 I'll help you strangle that bastard!
    When they both safe worded I fell on my knees - oh Marcus, oh Dane *sniffs* such a long way to go!

    Mercy - what a symbolic choice as well as Enough - both say it all.
    But ... though I'm shaking in anticipation of all the angst I have all the confidence in the world on our Mistress *winks*

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    1. I love how all my readers are banding together here! Although I worry a wee bit at the lynch mob that seems to be forming...but if it's all for the asshat, that's all right by me!

      Thanks for your faith in me, bb!
      xo

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  7. Marcus was very clever in the way that he approached Dane with the closeness factor. Almost worked too, didn't? Makes me ever so much more curious as to Dane's background and if it was as bad as I am making it out to be in my head because that poor boy has some serious issues that Marcus needs to help him with. Naturally, I have no doubt that Marcus will be successful.

    I am surprised that they went into the dungeon instead of having the glaringly obvious discussion that they need to have in order to fix this huge problem that is like an elephant in the room. Perhaps there are so many issues that Marcus needs to tackle with Dane that it is hard to figure out which to do first? But, seems to me that talking would come before fucking, but what do I know? LOL

    Double safe word. Well, that didn't go quite as planned. Whew boy! Can't wait to see what happens next. I just want the boys to be happy. Know it may be a long rode to get there and that is okay. Also wouldn't mind seeing Edward some more too. *wink* I SO miss him!

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    1. Keye, it's possible it worked a little TOO well? If Marcus has alighted on the thing Dane seeks most- to stay close to his Master- then he has indeed touched a nerve.

      Talking before fucking...hmmm. In general, I'd agree, but in this world, all kinds of powerful emotions are worked out through the physical. I can't say that one feels any more valid than the other, and I can't fault them both for reaching for their common medium. I do think the intensity of the scene did a fantastic job exposing the raw nerve. Now, how they both deal with that will measure the men.

      We'll see if we can't bring back more of those favorites from KEA. *wink*
      xoxo

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  8. Oh wow.... *taking a moment for a breather*

    Dane safeworded when Marcus droppe the leash. Did Dane see it as Marcus giving up on him?

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  9. I got the feeling something was going to happen - but didn't expect Dane's request or the both of them safewording. Determined as they both were to make the scene work - to make their relationship work - they have issues they need to work through before they can proceed. I love that they are both wanting this to work so desperately - Dane's outward expression and Marcus' inner musings as well as his physical presence and need for the boy pouring off him proving that. They are in good hands with you Born. Take care of these boys and bring them to where they need to be :)

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  10. oh dear...I wonder if there is a way to work more on their communication with each other while they are doing a scene. Until they have progressed more on Danes troubles maybe more talking about what is going on in each others head!

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    1. I don't think "in scene" is the place for it, but now that they're stalled out, might work!
      x

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  11. Oh, Dane :( such a beautiful broken soul. It amazes me how in spite of all the hurt and abuse he has experience with his previous master he still manages to retain such innocence and sweetness. It must have been a hard decision for him to make, to try to prove himself through this act that to him is a sacrifice. I can only imagine the need he must have felt to give Marcus all of him. How scared must he feel at the end of the scene, I can not even imagine what is going through his mind.
    Last Chapter I commented on how Marcus was feeling a bit insecure and Dane was a bit in denial, this chapter felt to me as a role reversal. Dane full of insecurities trying to overcome his fears and Marcus a bit too willing to believe that Dane was actually ready and had a miraculous breakthrough.
    I can not imagine what Marcus must have felt at the end when he realized that Dane was disregarding once again his own well-being and feelings. What a hard decision it must have been for him to use his safe word, knowing that Dane already felt like he was being rejected and maybe even discarded.
    I can hardly wait for the next chapter.
    As usual thank you so much for your writing and blessings.
    Gigi

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    1. I love your observation that Dane has risen above the hurt and pain-though we see it is considerable- to retain that beautiful innocence of his that makes him pierce our hearts. Your use of "sacrifice" is very poignant and right on target. I think you're exactly where Dane is right now.

      I totally agree once again that Marcus didn't see what he should've seen in Dane's offer. Denial or blindness or "selective vision"- all work.

      You have a wonderful sense of where the characters are right now. I'll see you tomorrow! xo

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  12. Oh wow! I was going to read all three then review, but I can't not say "wow!"
    I have mixed feelings. At one point I feel like Dane is being sweet and trying so hard to make up for him leaving the other night. But, now I'm afraid he is headed back into his older mindset of being "that" submissive. Just doing whatever the master wants him for.
    Even if he's not comfortable with it. Tell me I'm wrong Born!
    I'm sooo glad they safe worded. Both of them.
    Eeeeep!
    Xoxo <3

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    1. But, now I'm afraid he is headed back into his older mindset of being "that" submissive. Just doing whatever the master wants him for.
      Even if he's not comfortable with it. Tell me I'm wrong Born! -----------------
      WELLL???? You've read ahead so now you know the answer.
      Eeep indeed!
      MWAH!
      x

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  13. You are breaking my heart! Two Safe words! They didn't TALK .... Use your words boys.

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    1. As long as the safe words start the conversation, we'll be okay.
      xo

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  14. Oh this chapter makes me tear up every time! Well Dane will have a breakthrough after this I'm sure? Just not that kind nor in the positive fashion Marcus was hoping for. A FULL assessment of Dane's background, and delving into the atrocities of his abuse will be paramount to loving past them. Dane was pushing forward out of fear, and Marcus was seeing a bit of what he wanted to. It's a delicate dance, but I know Marcus will always do the best he can.

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    1. And Marcus's best will always be what Dane needs. :)
      Thanks for this lovely review.
      xo

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  15. AHHHHHHHHHHHH OKAY. I think I know what is happening here. Dane... oh my Dane, why are you pushing yourself? Could it be because when the topic of what Marcus does for a living came up, he realized that Marcus has the submissive world at his fingertips and could literally take on anyone as a sub? Is that it, Dane? Are you afraid of losing your Master? The one you're hopelessly falling in love with? And are you worried that he doesn't feel the same about you? That you're not worthy of those feelings?

    Damn... the way Dane offered up himself like that was so ooc to me. And also how Marc just took him up on it. Like was that in the original plans for the evening? How was it so easy for them to get to this part of things? I honestly felt it in my heart that they couldnt get through this scene. And at the end when Dane literally begged him not to stop because he felt so ashamed that he was unable to comply to a command that he basically made in the first place. He must feel a bit humiliated. I get that. He's also so so afraid of disappointing his Master, which goes back to the fear of losing him. I think Dane feels under pressure to perform as a prisoner to that fear.

    I'm surprised Marcus made that slip. I honestly am not sure what was planned for tonight but idk if having Dane bottom so soon was the best thing for them, given that they hit such a rough patch lately. I get that Marcus saw the offering as his sweet boy's way of saying "Here I am. I am yours," but gah... he wasn't ready. They both werent. And now, we have simultaneous safewordage. Very curious as to why both safeworded. Did Dane safe word out of the fear of rejection when Marcus released the cuffs? Or because the entire scent had grown to be too much for him? Obviously Marcus safe worded because he realized his boy was conflicted and scared of something. Diving head first to his limit. What either of these are? This is what he'll have to find out.

    The events that happen right after this will be crucial. Post gaming us just as important, if not more so than pregaming.

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    1. You. Nailed. It. I'm so pleased you heard the OOC there. Dane was straining far outside of himself. Easy for us to see Marcus maybe should not have gone there, but how do you refuse the boy when he's already feeling compromised and marginalized? By refusing his beautiful gift? That would've been tough too. You're absolutely right about Marcus's safe wording, and I totally agree with you about what comes after the scene.
      MWAH!

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  16. oh my! yes, what a mess! thank god for both safe words! now they need to have a very serious and long conversation. guess i was way off base, i didn't expect dane to go to these lengths to try to be the perfect sub for marcus. it's so heartbreaking.

    they were breaking barriers at lightening speed, it's a good thing marcus acknowledged it, keeping an eye on dane while moving forward. i was surprised that marcus agreed to take dane up on his offer and my heart broke for him when he realized that dane's body was physically rejecting his touch, no matter how much dane's mind wanted it. sadly it was out of a fear of losing his master, not out of the progress they were making. jeez, my heart shattered when dane begged marcus not to give up on him.

    wow, so much happened but marcus accidentally dropping the lead was so monumental! it felt like a ming vase hitting the tiled floor and shattering. that lead was so significant to them both, such a tangible symbol. "In my haste to pull Dane into my arms..." gah!!!

    they seem to have hit rock bottom and hopefully the only way is up. i'm anxious to see how marcus handles this situation and where he'll take their relationship from here.

    i'll never see or hear the word mercy in the same way again. after marcus's reflection of it and dane use, it has so much more weight to it now. kudos to you on that my dear! :) xx

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    1. AH! Now you've got it. Yes, he was trying to be perfect for Marcus out of fear of losing him. Perfect! I love your metaphor of the shattering vase. It was every bit that shattering. Thank you. :)

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