Sunday, May 18, 2014


“How would I go about earning my yellow belt?”

“Is that something you want?”

Dane’s kneeling over his duffel bag, placing his rolled belt on top of his folded gi. “Sure.”

I shouldn’t be surprised. Why am I still surprised?

“To be honest, Dane, you know all the moves, and you’ve got the forms down for the next three belts. All you need to do is memorize the yellow belt creed, which should take you all of three minutes.”

He stands up, brushes off his knees, and smiles. “What is it?”

The same part of my brain that recalls poetry has no trouble regurgitating the oath I took so many years ago. Now, if I could only remember what I ate for breakfast this morning.

I come to you with only karate. I have no weapons, but should I be forced to defend myself, my principles or my honor, should it be a matter of life or death, of right or wrong, then here are my weapons: karate, my empty hands.”


“Okay, you’ve got it?”


I can only shake my head and laugh. “I’ll set up a test with Fran.”

“You can’t administer the test?”

“Not officially.” I step over and cup his ass. “I can put you through your paces though and make sure you’re ready.”

He smiles. “I’m counting on it, Master.”

“Okay if we eat lunch at Jack’s today?”

“Sure, I can always find something on the menu.”

We head out into the cold morning, a bag slung over each of our shoulders and our hands connected between us. “Dane, I need to get you back into my dungeon.”

Dane’s even gait takes a stutter step. “Whoa! Way to drop that bomb out of clear skies!”

If you think that one’s bad, wait ‘til you hear the one I’m saving for later!

“Sorry. I’m staring down a deadline here—you know, we only have one more week on our contract.”

“I know.”

Wow, that came back quickly.

“Before you make any kind of decision about our future, it’s only fair you experience the full effect of being my submissive.”

He’s quiet. I look over at him, but his gaze is lowered to the sidewalk. Unreadable.

“So, I’d like to take you out to the house after the show tonight. We can spend the night, have some dungeon time, and be back to the city in plenty of time for your show tomorrow.”

Shit, not answering.

I give his hand a jiggle. “Dane? Are you having a problem over there?”

He pulls in a deep breath and exhales loudly. “And I guess before you make any decisions about our future, it’s only fair you experience the same.”

Technically, he’s right, but my decision was made long ago.

“I see that you’re worried, but I’m having a hard time figuring out if you’re afraid you’ll disappoint me or I’ll disappoint you.”

He stops abruptly and tugs me back with him, a far cry from the perfect heel he’s spoiled me with. “Never! You haven’t let me down once since I met you!”

“Dane, I appreciate that, but it’s not exactly true. I’ve made my mistakes.”

“Nothing that mattered, and you always hear me when I talk to you about things.”

“Don’t you know I feel the exact same way about you?”

Dane’s face lifts toward the sky. Aw shit. He’s fighting a quivering chin when his gaze meets mine again. “What if I mess things up? What if I freak out again? I don’t think I could bear it now, not after things have been going so well.”

I move in front of him and take both of his hands in mine. “Let the shit spew, Dane. We’re strong enough to handle it together. Don’t you see? This is exactly why we need to get in there and get serious. I’m not afraid of what we’ll find in the dungeon; I’m more concerned that something we don’t address now will come back later on.”

“Later on this week?”

Okay, now he’s asking point-blank about our future.

“Personally, I’m hoping we’ll have more time than that together, Dane.”

He blows out another breath and nods. “I trust you, Master.”

“Good. Now, if I could only get you to trust yourself a little more.”

He gives me an eye roll, but there’s the beginning of a smile with it.

“Dane, there is so much more I can do with you . . . do to you in my dungeon.  Don’t you deserve the very best torture I can mete out?”

It’s Dane’s turn to be on the receiving end of “one of those” winks. He takes it in stride, chuffing and shaking his head.

“Imagine if you tried to do that dance last night without the pole. It still would’ve been spectacular—don’t get me wrong—but . . .”

“I get your point. I want that, too.”

“Oh, I know you do. Believe me, what I have planned for you—”

Here comes his blush. Hallelujah!

“Okay, never mind that right now,” I say. “Let’s go eat, huh?”

Funny how things go. A conversation that begins with fear and anxiety meanders its way through the long, cold walk home from lunch, while talk of paddles and feathers and spanking chairs and whipping benches blossoms into a burning need. I ask you: What kind of master would send his boy off to work in such a state?

It’s not all that much of a surprise when we find ourselves back at the Fillmore with our lips wrapped around each other’s cocks, a mere taste of things—and the two of us—to come. When the appointed hour arrives and it’s time for Dane to dance his gigantic heart out, off he goes with that big shit-eating grin I love so much.

We’re in for a good, long night if things go well. I press myself a cup of dark roast and drop into the couch facing the city streets. In the vacuum left behind, my thoughts find their way back to last night’s “I love you” and the relief on Dane’s face when I responded in kind. My gut told me not to force the issue today but not to shy away from the conversation if he initiated it—which he did not.

I understand what Dane meant, and I’m fine with it. Trusted and respected, safe and valued, Dane feels secure in our relationship, and he returns those feelings. By Eleazar’s definition, I’ve loved many a man—and maybe I have, but not the way I love this one: with a passion that burns deep in the pit of my belly, a pride that sits like a boulder in my throat, and a ferocity that never sleeps.

Fucking love feels a whole lot like my ulcer.

I have to hand it to the doc; his take on the situation has merit. Love isn’t taboo with Eleazar but a simple statement of a complicated set of emotions. Why do I feel the need to chop up my feelings and dole them out, one per part? The fact is, there’s nothing I’ve seen of Dane that doesn’t make me crazy excited to know more.

Dane doesn’t need to know the extent of my passion right at this moment, nor do I feel the need to press for some measurement of his. It’s liberating for both of us to have labeled and shared our feelings. Good for Dane, climbing out on that limb first. Part of me wonders if Eleazar encouraged him to express himself. I wouldn’t put it past the guy.

With the acknowledgments behind us, that issue can rest without festering. If there’s more to say on the subject by either of us, the ice has already been broken. That leaves two big fat conversations we need yet to have: what happens after our thirty days are up and what to do about Wayne.

The deadline weighs heavily on Dane’s mind. I’ll need to address it with him tonight. No reason he should suffer or stew.

From the gentle grace of my young lover, my thoughts turn toward much harsher business: Wayne. With the reassurance I needed from Eleazar, the time has come to make plans. I grab my phone to call Aro, and Edward’s birthday poem catches my eye.

“Fucker.” But damn, he makes me laugh.

From: Marcus Andrews
Sent: Tuesday, January 22, 2013 7:42 PM
To: Edward Cullen
Subject: Re: Birthday Poem

By your poetic barbs, I’m not stung
With sweet Dane at my side, I am young.
Let me say, Edward dear,
You are no Will Shakespeare
Things far better have rolled off your tongue.

Need me to draw a picture for you?

Thanks for the wishes. Love to your better half.

I’ve packed up, hired the car, caught up on my emails, and eaten the super-food-laden salad I brought back for dinner. Seriously, kale, quinoa, almonds, broccoli, AND black beans? I’ll be surprised if my chest doesn’t spontaneously sprout a big, red “S.”

Sigh. There’s no putting this off one minute longer, and now that I’ve dialed, I really fucking hope he picks up so I don’t have to steel myself all over again. Three rings and I have my answer.

“Ah, Marcus. Ready to deal?”

“Yes and hello, Aro.”

“Good. The sooner, the better. I really don’t like what I’ve been hearing about this vermin. What are your thoughts?”

“Above all, my boy is protected.” Whoops, that may have been a touch too strong.

“You know, Marcus, I do have a heart.”

Fuck. Insulting the guy is not going to help the cause.

“I’m sorry, Aro. I know you do.”

“It’s okay. Stop beating yourself up over it.”

How did he—

“Look, Marcus, we all have our weak spots, and this boy is clearly yours. Nothing wrong with that as long as you know it and manage it.”

“What are you trying to say, Aro?”

“Just this: I respect you, and I trust you in the dungeon more than any other man I know, but when this thing goes down, your focus is going to be on your boy—and rightfully so. Let’s not plan something that assumes otherwise.”

My fists unravel themselves, and I drop my head against the back cushions of the couch. “Fair enough.”

“Not to worry, my friend. I have already spoken to the other club owners, and they stand united with us. You will have plenty of reinforcements when the time comes, and please tell me that time is soon.”

“Yes, I hope so. I have to do this on a Monday night; it’s the only day Dane has free, and next Monday is out.  Might Downstairs be available in two weeks?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“I’d like to put on a little demonstration.”

“Holy shit! Marcus Andrews on the circuit again? It’ll be standing room only!”

I have to admit his enthusiasm feels nice. “I’ve been giving this some thought, trying to envision the perfect scenario to appeal to his bloated ego. This needs to be a very exclusive gathering, the cream of the crops, so to speak.”

“Hahaha, yes, indeed. I’ll pitch an evening of ‘latest techniques in torture’ or something, label it ‘by personal invitation only’, get out word that it’s geared toward the power dom.”

“Yes, and imagine if Aro himself extended the exclusive invite! The asshole could hardly refuse such an honor!”

“Diabolical, my friend. Tell me more!”

Never hurts to appeal to the man’s ego. I can practically see Aro rubbing his hands together with glee.

“We stock the audience with carefully hand-picked guests: every club owner this side of the Hudson, anyone who places subs in the care of doms, as many of this guy’s cronies as we can unearth—”

“Yes! Let’s send a message that this abuse will absolutely not be tolerated.”

“Right, and just in case he has any decent friends who don’t know what an animal he is, we will strip away the façade.”

“Whatever’s left of him will be completely cut off from the community.”

“Yes, here and everywhere we cast our net.”

“We’ll all sleep better for it.”

“Absolutely. Last, but certainly not least, I want Dane to have a solid support system in attendance.”


“Meaning his very closest friends and his therapist—people who know how much this so-called ‘master’ cost Dane and how difficult this will be for him.”

“I’m with you, Marcus.”

“Thank you, Aro, if I haven’t said it lately.”

“You have,” he assures me, quickly moving ahead. “So, how does this work? You and your boy put on a lively show and make this Wayne endure the pain of watching, knowing what he’s lost?”

“Oh, no! No, no, no. Dane is not going to be laid bare for this freak—quite the opposite. My boy will be tucked safely away until the demonstration is well under way, and I have Wayne fully subdued on stage.”

Wayne is to be your demo sub? How on earth will we accomplish that?”

This is my favorite part, and my lips curl into a big smile as I reveal my plan. “He’s going to volunteer.”

“Marcus, this guy doesn’t bottom. Why on earth would the man agree to this?”

“I haven’t quite worked out all the details, but we’ve got a room filled with the best and brightest, the most respected, most powerful doms in Manhattan—and of course, this shmuck, a wannabe of the grossest proportions.”

“Yes, he is violently sycophantic.”

“Ha!” Good thing I set down my coffee mug when I picked up the phone. “So, I show up without a demo sub and ask for a volunteer from the audience. There will be shuffling and embarrassed looks exchanged . . .”

Here’s the part where I keep getting stuck on the fantasy that Edward grabs Wayne’s arm from behind and waves it madly in the air. Fortunately, Aro chimes in.

“Until . . . someone in a position of great authority makes the suggestion that an enthusiastic accomplice of ‘Master Wayne’s caliber’ would honor the proceedings!” He cackles.

“Perfect! And while I’m busy trying not to vomit, Wayne-o will be begging me to tie him up!”

“Holy shit! I am loving this plan.”

“I gotta say, Aro, I am, too.”

“Two devious minds are better than one.”

“You flatter me.”

“Well deserved, well deserved. Now, what kind of equipment will you require?”

“Serious hardware. I want the fucker fully immobilized and trussed up like a pig at a luau.”

“Oh my! How very graphic!” Evil cackle. “No problem, Marcus. I can most definitely set these wheels in motion. Leave it to me. You said two weeks from yesterday, correct?”

“Yes, and let me assure you, Aro, I will keep things entirely above board. I wouldn’t want to make any trouble for you.”

“Awww, pity. Very well, then. I’ll make sure to have my security team primed and ready, and I’ll start circulating the word among the inner circle. This fucker won’t have a clue what hit him!”

“Thank you, Aro. I mean it. This means everything to me.”

For once, his voice lacks that treacherous edge. “I’m pleased I can help. Let’s stay in touch.”

“Absolutely. I’ve got some work to do on my end as well.”

“Yes, it sounds like you’ve got a boy to prepare.”


And people to gather.

There was simply no chance chapter 69 wouldn't contain a 69. Looks like someone is taking an overnight trip to Master's house. That might be awkward, huh? 

P.S.- I'm helping to organize a compilation to benefit victims of the recent earthquakes in Nicaragua and Chile. Information about the effort may be found on this fandom gives blog. We thought it might be fun/exciting/radical to invite anyone who would like to participate to join in a collaboration story. The beginning of the story, Tremble, and further details may be found here. Take a look, maybe sign on to write with us? Please consider donating to this worthy cause. xxx


  1. ooh and so they plan a night in the Dungeon! As far as Dane's come and with their declarations, he was still apprehensive if their agreement would go beyond the 5 days they had left - bless him. and the 69 on the 69th was win as well as the plan to get Wayne out of the picture. And what a way they're going to do it. Bring on the grass skirts, chains and whips, there's a luau a happenin, with waynehole as the main course. :D loved it.

    1. BAHAHA! Maybe they should put Wayne in a grass skirt! MEAN! (I LOVE IT!)

  2. Loads of info in this one but as always we have lovely times with our two favourite men as well.

    Loved that Dane is enjoying karate and looks like he will be able to move through his belts.

    I'm like Dane, a bit nervous about the dungeon but Marcus is absolutely right in everything he said. Also it is something they need to push through and the longer they put it off, the bigger the barrier could become in Dane's mind, hope it all goes well but it is more than ok if Dane were to yellow too. They are so, so much better able and equipped to deal with that eventuality, if it were to happen, than they were before, especially with the ILYs.

    I love the plan for Wayne and aaarghhhed with Marcus', 'above all, my boy is protected' and if Marcus is dishing out the revenge I assume Sean and Riley and Eleazar will be looking out for Dane. I am so looking forward to your plans for this chapter. Dane will obviously be physically safe but he will definitely need emotional support, I shall brace myself ;)

    Finally, a shout out for M's response to Edward, perfect and the 'cream of the crops' lol, you are so clever, thank you for sharing this story with us all.


    1. I think you're so right, J. It's not the end of the world if Dane needs to slow things down by yellowing or even safe wording. They have a base of trust and respect upon which to build. That makes everything less scary. Happy you enjoyed it, and thanks as ever for your insightful remarks. Don't worry, bb, we will all be looking out for Dane!

  3. You know that I absolutely love Dane he is such a beautiful character, when he is the main focus of a chapter everything flows differently, there is such lightness and playfulness. Even at the beginning when he was trying to heal, his light kept poking through and he always managed to bring out the best in Marcus.
    But then there's Marcus, I find him fascinating and I love these chapters where we get to see the inner workings of his mind. There is always so much going on in his head, but when Dane is present his focus shifts and he centers himself in favor of putting his submissive's needs first. So this parts of the stories where he interacts with others or strategizes his next moves are incredibly captivating. I guess I love this side of him all Alfa male and taking charge. He has the funniest inner monologue at times, only he could go from waxing poetic to ulcer.
    "I’ve loved many a man—and maybe I have, but not the way I love this one: with a passion that burns deep in the pit of my belly, a pride that sits like a boulder in my throat, and a ferocity that never sleeps. Fucking love feels a whole lot like my ulcer."
    I'm so glad they are going back to the dungeon, it is long over due and I think Dane needs to succeed there in other to set some issues to rest, so they can move on to a new stage in their relationship pass the deadline, which worries Dane and I'm hoping Marcus will slay that one too and put it to rest. It was also great to see him getting the ball rolling on the Wayne front. And finally his poem to Edward was great, I love the dynamic of their friendship.
    As always thank you so much for bringing Dane and Marcus to life, for sharing their amazing story, and for taking the time to read and reply to all the reviews.

    1. I'm really pleased you see Marcus differently with other characters than you do with Dane. I think we're all a bit like that to some degree, and it's not a bad thing. People just tend to bring out different pieces of us and we can't help but respond differently. It's fun for me to reflect Marcus with characters like Edward or Aro so we can see different characteristics of his personality.
      Thank you for all your comments and sharing your perspectives.

  4. Wish I could see Edwards reaction to that text lol. So a night in the dungeon so that Dane knows what he is signing up for in the long run. Very good idea Master Marcus and very well explained also. I see you got a crazy Aro laugh squeezed in this chapter. Nice!
    Oh my, if that is just the beginnings of a plan for dear ole wayne I cannot wait to see what the fully thought out fleshed out plan is going to be. Revenge will be sweet!
    Excellent chapter m'dear xoxo.

  5. Love that Dane is developing an interest in karate- reminds me of Edward going to the painting class with Bella, except Dane is a much more... disciplined student. lol

    With how far these guys have come emotionally, it was almost hard for me to remember that they havent really gotten down to the nitty-gritty of the dungeon stuff yet. I was a little taken aback to see Dane kinda nervous about that. and nervous about where the end of the contract period would leave the two of them. I guess because I've been inside Marcus's head this whole time, I just want to say "how could you ever wonder whether or not Marcus wants to keep going with you?!?! he loves you!"

    Love all of Marcus's introspection and his description of how he loves Dane: "with a passion that burns deep in the pit of my belly, a pride that sits like a boulder in my throat, and a ferocity that never sleeps." *swoon*

    OMG Marcus's reply to Edward was perfect. A not so subtle reminder of which 'old man' is in charge here! gah, he makes me turn to mush, especially imagining Edward reading this reply and giving a wonderful bark of laughter. *double swoon*

    The Wayne confrontation is making me nervous, even though I know with Marcus in charge, no harm will come to Dane. I look forward to seeing how it all goes down and how Dane's friends are there to support him. I also can't wait to see how Marcus takes care of Dane after they get home and its just the two of them.

    These two men continue to captivate me: their strength, their tenderness, their love, their bond, etc. Thanks for sharing your boys with all of us. They feel like real people I want to know! keep it up! :D

    1. BAHAHA! Great comparison there- and Edward is the biggest goofball compared to serious, earnest Dane! I know, Digi, I totally understand what you're saying about Dane's uncertainty. I think it illustrates exactly how deeply wounded he still is. His first instinct is still "I'm not good enough," or "He won't want me" or "I will fail." Baby steps, though it seems at times Dane has leapt tall buildings. All I can say is this is what I hear when I sit down to write, and when I go over it and wonder if I was too dramatic, if Dane was too uncertain, I just can't see it any other way.

      That's EXACTLY how I see Edward's response. A massive "TOUCHE, SIR!"

      Ah yes, after it's over and they've finally got that whole mess behind them...and they're alone. Won't that be a sweet moment? I really love your last paragraph. Thank you so very much for letting these two into your heart.

  6. So is Marcus planning the session as a get Dane ready to hear about what we are planning for little d? Build his confidence, show him a real Dom, etc. It's says much about Marcus that they talk about the session so much, that they need the 69(and yes, I was looking for it). He knows what his boy needs.

    Big Red S, I'm pretty sure Marcus's chest has a big D on it! The punishment for little d sounds impressive. Hit the guy where it will hurt the most. Right in the pride and control center. All the more perfect if that's what gets him there in the first place. I only have one question regarding the comeuppance. Is Edward going to be there?

    It's great that M acknowledges that D needs to be at his every thought for the big night. He's already prepping him I believe, with the scene tonight , how well he talks everything through for him, and establishing a support system. I'm trying to picture Eleazar at the club. That should be interesting. Sean and Riley too? I'm pretty sure his parents won't be there!

    1. Not exactly, Austen D. Marcus doesn't want Wayne in his dungeon in any way, shape, or form. Nothing he does with Dane bears any resemblance to the sham of a dom-sub relationship Wayne claimed to have. Marcus doesn't need to prove he's not Wayne- he just needs to give Dane a chance to see that HE is strong enough for the dungeon, and that it's what he really wants and needs.

      Your question will be answered (about who will be present). Please hold your thought! LOL no the parents will not be invited. I can promise you that much!

  7. Hey, I was out of town from Friday to Monday and am late reading this. Sorry but I had loads of fun! I wondered if chapter 69 would contain it's namesake....and wasn't disappointed! I love how Aro and Marcus are planning Wayne's downfall. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Is the 30 days up already? Is there any doubt that this will become a full time, regular thing for them? Seems the only one who's nervous about this is dane, poor boy. I hope their dungeon time will reassure him.

    1. 30 days are up soon and they'll be talking all about it.

      There's not much doubt in my mind but who the hell knows with these two?

  8. I cannot wait for the chapter where Marcus does diabolical deeds to Wayno in front of all the people the creep wants to impress. LOL

  9. "Fucking love feels a whole lot like my ulcer."
    Hahahaha! I love that he is F bombing all over the place!!
    And OMG! This plan is devious! I freaking love it! *evil cackles*
    I was wondering as I was reading if Edward and Bella will be there. LOL
    *sighs* I hope Dane will be ok. This is going to affect him, but with Marcus and his closest there by his side he will have all the support he needs. Plus, Marcus is going to talk to him first. :)
    Now, let's go to the dungeon!!!!

    1. Poor M- he seems to have "love Tourette's"!
      How could Marcus let anything bad happen to Dane?

  10. Thank heavens chapter had a 69. I think you get banned from writing porn if you break this rule ;-) I am salivating just thinking about this plan for Waynehole. And Dane Back in the dungeon. Yes please!!

    1. HAHA! They'd take away my P-card! Salivating, eh? You might need to share your visuals with me, bb!

  11. I'm ready for Dungeon Dane!!!! He has to know that after souls were bared and ILYs were shared that they're both in it beyond the Dirty 30. (You know the trial period) hah. So Dane being scared was right in itself bc it's Dane. And he's still a bit insecure in so many little ways. But he's come a long way, they both have. And they both have what it takes to reassure each other when the situation calls for it. They know how to take care of each other.

    This chapter takes me back to one of the very early ones when I reviewed and said something like, "A good dom would never let himself or his sub make a decision without fully knowing the extent of where their union could possibly go and what their both in for.' And this chapter proves it. This dungeon time will reveal what their potentials and limits are. How far this could go. It also will reveal what the other would be missing out on should they choose not to make their relationship a more permanent thing. They both have to know and understand and accept the desire, the pleasure, the absolute happiness that they can either gain or lose depending on the decision to accept or reject each other. The decision will become way easier then.

    Oh my Waynehole is burning with intrigue at that plan. Still semi afraid of how Dane will take this, especially since so much planning has already gone on while he was oblivious that finding the asshole was even a thing. I hope he doesn't see this as another project to fix him. After how he reacted to the Sean/Riley thing initially, I do have cause to worry. Bc this will expose Dane's scars and vulnerability on a whole other level than it did with Sean/Riley. It will open up a lot of pain and hurt and history that he's probably just trying to get over at this point. It will be a big test for him that he trusts Marcus to protect and shelter him from any of Wayne's shenanigans. That no harm will come to him by the hand of Wayne or anyone while in Marcus' care. In many ways Dane might be a man, but there are still parts of himself bruised and vulnerable and innocent like a little babe. So interested in how this all pans out.

    I'm excited for Dungeon play so let's get on with it, yeah?

    1. Is that like Malibou Barbie? I like the way you processed this upcoming need to be in the dungeon. It wouldn't be a proper trial without it, so let's see!

      Your fears/worries about Dane's reaction mirror Marcus's, with god cause. Thanks for holding that in the palm of your hand while you read. None of this is straightforward, risks must be taken if we ever want something meaningful and lasting though, don't you think?