Thursday, February 25, 2016



The shower stall in Master’s sub room is not built for two, but sharing with Tyler is not unpleasant. In fact, when the boy takes the soap in hand and scrubs my back, I have to admit, it’s nothing short of bliss. As he circles two soapy thumbs up the stalk of my neck, all I can think of is how much Master would enjoy the boy’s hands working his back.
Those fingers crest my shoulders and creep into the dangerous erogenous zone up front; I know I need to put on the brakes before we achieve “hanky panky” status. As much as I don’t want to, I trap Tyler’s hand against my chest as he glides over my nipples. “Ty.”
“You better not.” His fingers retreat, and I immediately feel the loss. “It’s not that I wouldn’t love to . . .” I confide.
Tyler surprises me with a sweet kiss on my neck. “I get it, Dane.”
Without turning, I reach my arm around the back of his head and hold him right there. Just for a minute. Neither of us speaks; we share the hot stream of water and each other’s company.
There’s so much I long to say to this boy: how much I ache for the pain he endured, how I pray for him to find a master as compassionate and wise as mine, how much I’m drawn to him, how treacherously provocative his presence was in our dungeon. I could see it—letting someone like Tyler in. Master was right about the seduction.
But almost as swiftly, I’ve decided what I will say to Master about this arrangement: one and done. It’s not that our relationship couldn’t withstand the challenge; it’s very simply that we’ve accomplished what we needed to in one session, and we’re already bordering on a level of intimacy I’m not comfortable sharing with anyone other than Marcus.
“Hey, I think the hot water’s making me a little dizzy.” It’s a cover, but Tyler lets me off the hook.
He presses his lips to my cheek and leaves a loud, playful smack. “Are you sure it’s not me making you hot?”
I return the goofiness with a tap on his cheek. “You’re definitely not helping.”
Tyler’s smile is quite beautiful. “Your master was right about my boner.”
I look down because . . . who wouldn’t? “Hey, I’m not one to talk. I’ve been hard since I stripped you.”
Tyler glances at what I’ve been sporting for him. “I guess we’ll have to agree to agree. We’re both hot.”
I give his chest a shove. “Go over there with your bar of soap. I’ll meet you outside the shower when we both have towels on.”
The towels do help as does the cold water we both guzzle. My feet beat a direct path to the leather necklace waiting for me behind the door. I pull the twin straps over my head and press the bottom tag to my heart—the rectangle with the upper case M. As usual, Master’s presence is the cure for what ails me.
This tiny room only contains one place to sit—the bed. Fortunately, after clearing the air, Tyler and I are both feeling platonic enough not to get weirded out when he plops down next to me on the mattress and cups the dog tags in his hand.
“I noticed you wearing this necklace the other day. Gift from your master?”
“Yes. When we’re not in scene, this keeps me grounded.”
His thumb meets my knuckles as he fingers the tag containing my initial. “That’s nice. Kinda cool that it’s soft. Not what you might expect.”
My mouth curls into a smile. “Master likes to say, ‘Expected the unexpected.’”
Tyler nods as his hand drops away. “I get that about him now.”
I love that Master is immune to manipulation—not that I’d ever pull something like that, but after my front row seat to Master’s handling of Tyler just now, I’m impressed all over again. “Tell me the truth, Ty. Were you late on purpose so Master would beat you?”
He scrubs a hand along his wet hair. “I guess. I don’t think I did it consciously, but you know how Master Wayne was—”
“You know, one thing that really helped me was not referring to him as Master. Up to you, but . . .”
Tyler’s lips curl into a smile. “What was that name your master came up with? Wayne the wee-willied wanker?” He bursts into giggles, and I happily join him.
“Wannabe, but I think I might like yours better.”
The bed shakes with our laughter. “Fuck, that feels good,” Tyler says. Then, remembering my question, he turns serious again. “I guess I thought your master might respect me if I showed him I could take it. Sorry, that was a dick move.”
“Nah.” My hand shoots out to Tyler’s arm. “It’s fine. It’s what you knew. Master knows better.”
“He really does, doesn’t he?” Tyler drops back onto his palms. “Damn, he’s . . . really something special. You are a lucky fucker, Dane.”
“I know.” I almost feel bad for giving Tyler a glimpse of the dom he can’t experience again. “The thing is, even though Marcus is one of a kind, there are good doms out there for you. I mean, Wayne wasn’t really even a dom. He was just an abuser with a lot of fancy toys.”
Much to my relief, Tyler seems encouraged. “You really think all that stuff about being forgiven is normal? Do you remember how Mas—Wayne would hold a grudge forever? And the way your master gave me a massage after my punishment—what was that?”
“Yes, Ty. I believe that’s how any good dom would take care of you.” I keep the fact that Master is extraordinary to myself.
Tyler retreats deep inside his thoughts. I leave him be, waiting for the shake of his head. “I’ve never had it like that before.”
“I hadn’t either.”
Tyler’s head jerks up. “No? You’re such an amazing sub. Were you always so . . . I dunno . . .”
“Submissive?” My lips quirk into a smirk, which Tyler mirrors.
“The word doesn’t do you justice.” With a little space to reflect, Tyler adds, “You seem to have this incredible control, but you can also completely let go. Does that even make sense?”
“Sure. To me, that’s exactly what being a submissive means. I suppress my own physical urges out of respect for my Master. I can let go because I trust him with my body, my mind, and my whole heart.”
“And this all comes naturally to you?”
I realize I’m unusual in this, that most subs battle constantly against survival instincts and pride. “Pretty much . . . but you have to know that’s been a curse in my life as much as it’s been a blessing.”
Tyler’s smile disappears, and a familiar, haunted look settles behind his eyes. “I know, Dane. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I worked through it, just like you are.”
“Eleazar’s pretty great, huh?” he asks, the sadness retreating somewhat.
“He’s amazing. I thank God for that man every day . . . and Master, of course.”
“Of course.” Tyler nudges my shoulder with his. “You deserve him, Dane. I’m happy for you both.”
“You deserve a great master, too, Ty.”
He drops his gaze, and his voice suddenly sounds timid. “I don’t guess you’d be in the market for a sub?”
Fuck. I’m not sure where to begin with that one. What would Master say?
I angle my body toward Tyler’s, shifting carefully so as not to loosen the casually tucked towel. “Hey.” I wait for the cautious lift of Tyler’s big, brown eyes. “That’s a compliment I don’t even deserve, and it means everything to me.”
He shrugs and blushes, but he doesn’t turn away this time.
“Ty, I’m no dom, and my Master . . . I can’t share him with you again. I hope you understand.”
“Of course I do. I wouldn’t either. You guys were great to have me today.”
“It was nice. I’m really glad we did it.”
Tyler nods. A devilish gleam lights up his smile. “You are a freak for the tickler, dude.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
He exaggerates the shoulder bump he gave me earlier, nearly knocking me over. “That was so fucking hot. Seriously.”
“Maybe you’re a dom in disguise,” I tease him. “You seemed awfully excited to torture me.”
“Not gonna lie; I did enjoy that. Why didn’t you just yellow, man? I would’ve crapped out way before you did.”
I chuff. “I nearly did, more than once. But Master wanted to push my limit, and I wasn’t about to choose the easy way out.”
“So you took it for him?”
“Not exactly.” I pause, searching for the right words to make him understand how this works for us. “I endured as much as I could so Master could push me as far as I could go . . . so I could then experience that incredible pleasure on the other side.”
Tyler’s brows furrow with the effort of working it out. “You hung in there through the torture for the sole purpose of making your Master happy that he was bringing you so much pleasure?”
“Wow. You might not be as dumb as you look!”
Tyler takes my ribbing in stride. “You two are the poster couple for BDSM.”
“I don’t know about that. This works for us. That’s what counts.”
“Okay, back up a sec. The dude didn’t even whip it out in there. Is that normal?”
I can barely contain my amusement while Tyler puts the puzzle pieces together. “No, he usually gets off in scene, too. Unless he needs to make a larger point.”
“What point do you think he was making today?” Tyler asks.
“I think he knew I’d have a hard time if he got off in front of you.”
“But you did. Don’t you think he minded that?”
“No, I don’t. Master is stronger than I am, for one thing. And he loves the power trip of getting me off.”
“Pfft—or not.”
I know there’s pity in my eyes right now, but I can’t help it. Wayne was a world class champion at denying his subs. And he did it for all the wrong reasons.
“Hey, Ty . . . I know you asked Marcus not to share your checklist with me, and he didn’t say a word, but if you don’t mind my asking, do you get off on the edging or denial?”
“Edging, sure. Denial . . . no. That was just something I got used to.”
“Would it surprise you to learn that you don’t have to? That a good dom wouldn’t do that to you unless it was a short-term correction or something you actually craved?”
He blinks at me for a few seconds before responding. “Yeah, I guess it would surprise me. I mean, how does your master keep you in line?”
“You saw him in action. Did you not want to jump to please him?”
Ty huffs out a half-snort. “I have never stood on my toes for anyone, I can tell you that.”
“Okay, but that was for your pleasure. What if Master had offered you the chance to give him a blowjob? Would you not have pulled out every weapon in your arsenal to make him squeal?” And now I’m grinning because the thought of sucking off Master . . . unf!
Tyler stares across the room, his expression shifting from curiosity to hunger in a matter of seconds. His answer comes from a far-off place. “Yeah, I sure as shit would.”
“I’ve made my point. Now stop thinking about my Master’s cock in your mouth!”
Tyler chuckles as he shakes off the imagery. “Sorry, man. It’s just funny to me. Wayne never inspired that kind of desire. It was always a punishment to take him in my mouth, you know? And he’d always try to gag me, to make it seem like he had some big sausage I couldn’t possibly swallow. With your guy, yeah . . . I think I’d be following him around the house on my knees all day. How do you not?”
I bump his elbow and give him a waggle of my eyebrows. “Who says I don’t?”
“You lucky motherfucker.”
This conversation has just about run its course. I pull Tyler into a hug. “Master knows people . . . he can set you up with someone really good if that’s what you decide you want.
Tyler’s arms close tight around me. “Why do I feel like you’re saying goodbye?”
I feel a stab inside my heart. “I’m not. Not at all. I want to stay in touch, but I can’t do this with you again.”
“You’re afraid you won’t be able to quit me.” He’s half kidding, but he’s not that far off.
“Thanks for the ‘brokeback’ moment. You’re right, Ty, and honestly, that wouldn’t be fair to any of us.”
“I get why it’s a one-time deal.” Tyler pulls out of the hug and stands up. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna get weepy or anything.” He unwraps his towel and tosses it into the hamper. I watch, transfixed on the bed, while he grabs his shirt from the cubby and pulls it over his head. “Got any deodorant down here?”
“Sure, top drawer in the bathroom.”
He’s already halfway there when he calls over his shoulder, “Figured you wouldn’t mind sharing your toiletries since you had your finger in my butthole a few minutes ago.”
“Thanks for reminding me.”
Damn, it feels good to see how light-hearted Tyler is. He emerges from the bathroom with his t-shirt pulled down and his hair pushed neatly away from his eyes.
“I see you found my brush.”
There’s no trace of apology or even sheepishness in his wide grin, and I could not be happier about it. “Nice moisturizer, too,” he says with a wink. “I’m just gonna grab my pants from out there. Be right back.”
“Sure.” I’d rather wear this towel than my ruined leggings. Considering Master and I have the rest of today to ourselves, I can’t imagine he’ll protest my wardrobe choice.
True to his word, Tyler returns to the doorway, dressed in his sweatpants. He leans against the frame, looking about a hundred times more confident than when he first arrived. “Hey, do you think your Master would classify one last kiss as hanky panky?”
Fuck if I don’t want another kiss, too, but my eagerness to accept Tyler’s offer is exactly what gives me pause. “I guess it depends what kind of kiss you have in mind.”
He chuffs, giving me the chance to take in his sexy, half-lidded eyes. Tyler crosses his arms and regards me before shaking his head. “You know what? Never mind. I’m pretty sure it would’ve been a no-no.”
“What a tease you are.” My mouth twists into a smile, and Tyler raises his eyebrows at the idea he already knows he’ll like.
“Yessss?” he says.
“You know, Ty, Master didn’t say we couldn’t hanky-panky; he just said not to do it without him.”
His mouth opens into a happy grin. "Let's get our asses upstairs then, shall we?"

In every story, there seems to be a favorite chapter that made me grin while writing and even editing. This chapter was definitely it for me (sorry, Marcus!). These two boys just wanna play, and isn't it nice to see them both so carefree after all they went through? We're getting real close to the end here... XXX ~BOH


  1. Tyler might not have gotten weepy, but I sure did. I loved this

  2. Gentlest letdown on record LOL! But with both of them bein' so honest, it couldn't have gone any better...well, except for goodbye hanky panky with Marcus, which I can't wait to see!

  3. That was some conversation between these two, and it was good to see that Tyler's eyes were opened to the possibility of finding a true Master, not being at the mercy of an abuser. It was good for Tyler to see how happy Dane was, and how with the right person in your life, the sky is the limit. I sense that though they will no longer scene, Dane and Tyler will be great friends. Wonderful chapter :)

    1. "With the right person in your life, the sky is the limit." How beautiful is that? :) I DEFINITELY picture these two forming a really lovely friendship. They would be wonderful for each other in so many ways. :)

  4. I absolutely loved this chapter. Their interactions were so sweet and honest. I can see a true friendship forming between them. The only thing that would have made this chapter better would be if I could have been in the room with them for a cuddle. LOL!


    1. Hahaha Would that have been a hanky panky cuddle? You're so sweet. Glad you enjoyed...

  5. This chapter surely was grin-worthy! Tyler wasn't as messed up by Wayne as Dane was, it seems, but then maybe he was just better at hiding it to them. My gut tells me it's the former. Fun and flirty, especially in the shower!

    1. I think you're right, plus Tyler had already begun his healing journey. :)

  6. Do we know how long T was with the wanker? He's not near as damaged as D. While seeing is believing, talking it out with Dane is allowing more if it to set in. I really like how open these two are with each other, but somehow worried about Tyler pushing Dane a bit too much. I still worry about the boy. It's like a mini group therapy for the two of them.

    I have to say it bothered me that Tyler was messing with Danes tags. Thoughts?

    1. I'd have to go back and do some calculations (LOL) BUT I can say that Dane was both with Wayne longer AND a more vulnerable personality than Tyler. Also, Tyler's journey toward mental healing had already begun with Eleazar and the center. I agree, Tyler is pushing some of Dane's buttons, and I believe Dane might have been a bit more vulnerable or sensitive than he probably would have thought before this session. It's instructive if not therapeutic.
      I'm glad you brought up the tags. I think you're probably responding to an earlier scene where someone touched those tags (maybe Riley?) and Dane reacted much more negatively than he did this time. This is meant to show his growth and expanding comfort level as well as his affection for and ease with Tyler. I'm glad that rankled you a little but I hope you'll be okay now. :)

    2. Thanks for your reply. As I read it, I had the thought that Tyler is still still looking for tangible proof that there is something better out there. This was of course the whole point of this session. I'm still a little uncomfortable with it, but Dane is a much better person (fictional character) than I am. LOL

    3. Haha! He's not quite as perfect as my first Edward ("The Cliffs") but Dane is a specimen I wouldn't exactly expect to run into on the street. He's a lovely character aspiration but I don't think I could ever achieve his generosity in RL. <3

  7. *happysighs*... I def got a little weepy up there ^^^. lol. I was smiling the whole time I think. I love how far it feels like Tyler has come in just a few hours. His lightheartedness was just incredibly soothing. And gosh, if that wasn't the easiest 'breakup' in the history of breakups!

    My favorite lines: "There’s so much I long to say to this boy: how much I ache for the pain he endured, how I pray for him to find a master as compassionate and wise as mine, how much I’m drawn to him, how treacherously provocative his presence was in our dungeon." I can sooo easily these two forming a beautiful friendship- kinda reminds me of a cross between Edward and Riley's relationship, and Edward and Marcus's relationship. lol

    Ahh, this chapter makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and cuddly! I don't wanna acknowledge the fact that you said we're close to the end, so I'm just going to shove my fingers in my ear and happily hum to myself! ;)

    1. I love the parallels you've drawn with Edward's friendships with Riley and Marcus. Dane is definitely more reserved than Edward and Riley but Tyler brings out something very playful in him. We all need friends like that! I wanted to prepare you for the ending so you don't FREAK OUT! XOXO

  8. Tyler prob has a way to go in his recovery, but that is a fantastic first step. Just seeing that there is better out there, and that he is desired by them prob gives him 100% more self esteem. Dane is a smart man to realize the temptation is there and he should refuse it. Great chapter and a lot of fun too read.

    1. I agree about the temptation, Vicki. I know many loving couples make it work with the occasional third or even the permanent third lover in the mix, but I don't see it for these two, not long-term. Not to say they wouldn't bring in another man at some other point. No door is locked. :)

  9. Were I in your shoes, I do believe this would have been my favorite chapter to write as well! Tyler, while not at the finish line with his recovery, made some brilliant strides in the right direction in the previous chapter and this one only strengthens those strides. Loved it, especially the bits where Dane admits, though internally, that if things were different he would entertain the idea of more with Tyler. It's a testament to his relationship with Marcus that it's merely a blip.

    With every chapter from the beginning (and I mean RM) to now you have done an amazing job with this story. The men involved, the side characters, the feelings evoked, and progress made in each chapter. Thanks for sharing it with us and allowing us to the thrill of the ride:D

    Favorite line(s)... "Without turning, I reach my arm around the back of his head and hold him right there. Just for a minute." The power of the image this brings to mind is....amazing. Just...aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh. If I'm honest, the following two paragraphs are the best. So much said and decided and it was all in Dane's mind. I love that dude!


    1. Awwww THANK YOU! Your words are always so lovely and meaningful to me. I'm so pleased you're enjoying this. I would've picked out the same moment. :) It's the pauses, like the hug I know you're already read in the next chapter, where you can truly appreciate Dane's depth. He is such a beautiful spirit. Living inside his head is lovely for me. Glad you're here too. XXX

  10. Very nice, and very light. Made my heart sigh in a way. Dane has a connection with this boy, because of their pasts, and it was really cool to see them be so bro-like with each other. Even though the scening between them can no longer happen.

    These two boys together are trouble. Let's see what damage they can do with "The last hanky panky" **snort**

    1. You pointed out the kind of weird push and pull of the sibling rivalry and the sexual attraction I felt happening between these two. Tyler wasn't just very different from Dane, he was also very different from Marcus (even more so probably). Where Dane and Marcus are reserved, controlled, and uber respectful and sensitive, Tyler is more of a blurter, a bit brash, carefree, risk-taking, and a bit shameless! It was so much fun to introduce that kind of personality into the mix. So glad you're enjoying and the boys are lightening your heart. That makes me smile.